Yes, you heard me right – I just sold all my investments.

Stocks and Shares ISAs? Sold.

Gold coins? Sold.

Share in a garage? Sold.

Put all my money in our savings account – it is secure there, and it yields a bit of interest. Last tax year, our savings brought all £6 of interest between the two of us – I’d like to see you beat that.

Most importantly, all our money being in a savings account helps me sleep better, and I don’t worry that I’ll lose it all in the stock market.

But I’m hurrying ahead of my game. Let me slow down and tell you why selling all my investments is an excellent thing.

#1. The stock market is going to crash, isn’t it?

You may call me ‘chicken’, but I’ve lost my sleep over this one; even my Sensate gadget (which John calls a ‘chest vibrator’) has been helpless against the panic and anxiety gripping my heart when I think about that.

Yes, I’m afraid that I will lose all my money, and I’m not ashamed to admit it – after all, I hustled like a woman obsessed for my cash and don’t want to lose it.

We shall see; I may invest again. Now is the time to be sage and sit out the stock market storm.

#2. Investing makes me worry

Nothing is worth a sleepless night of worry. My mind is hurting from visions of poverty and strife if I lose my money, and my heart is pumping extra hard from fear.

No, not worth it.

#3. I would rather have a bird in my hand than two in the bush

I may have got this saying a bit wrong, but the sentiment is clear – I’d rather have my bird pie today than a bird farm tomorrow.

And tomorrow may never come anyway, right? With the pandemic and all, we may not live to see older age.

Hahaha. I got you there

Did you believe me?

Did I convince you that I sold it all and I am happy about it?

Look at the date – it is April 1st.

Now, I will stop messing about and tell it as it is.

Today, I topped up my Vanguard UK stocks and shares ISA.

I will never sell my investments. For years, I have followed Buffet’s maxim:

‘Be fearful when everyone is greedy and be greedy when everyone is fearful.’

If the market goes down, I’ll buy more shares – bear markets are a sales bonanza. I make sure that I always have easy access to cash for opportunities.

I lose sleep over many things at present, but my investments are not one of them – I just make sure that we don’t need to draw down from our portfolio over the next two or three years rolling. That is all.

Lastly, call me weird, but I believe that life lived in safety is a life lived without passion. And I think that passion is the spice of life – it must be just right to make it delicious.

Final thoughts

Have a great April Fools’ Day, my friends.

And please don’t do anything I wouldn’t do with your money, including selling your investments.

Be smart, be safe, and speak soon.

Photo by Dawin Rizzo on Unsplash