How to change your money blueprint?

There is a short and very straight forward answer to this question. One can change their money blueprint by changing one’s beliefs about money, about people who have it and about the way in which it will affect one’s relationships with other and with themselves. In an earlier post I shared with you my answers to ten questions that paint our money blueprint. These are:

I am not rich because I refuse to understand finance.

And that is because I do not consider money important and a part of my life.

Being rich would make me feel secure.

When it comes to rich people, my parents always told me that they are immoral and exploit the honest working people.

If I focused on getting rich, it would make my partner/spouse feel left behind.

A rich woman is one who is independent.

What keeps me from taking more risks to get rich is the fear of losing it all.

When it comes to handling money, I get embarrassed.

I feel money is dirty and un-important.

A rich woman strikes me as ruthless.

Beliefs about money

During the last year or so I re-visited and examined deeply my beliefs about money. Looking back, I realised that money is not part of my life because I spent my early years with my grandparents on a farm where very little needed to be bought; later I went back to live with my parents and money was  not a problem – there was enough of it so that I would not notice it. I also remembered a big and ugly row about money between my grandparents; it was about very little money that my granddad has lost. This more than explains why my beliefs about money were that it is ‘dirty’, ‘un-important’ and certainly not part of my life. Understanding how money works and finance was without any relevance.

Having worked out the origin of my restrictive beliefs was the first step towards changing these. Money is still not, and will never be, the centre of my world. But I have learned to see it for what it truly is – a mediator between us and the world, between us and the things we want (and need). Money is an inevitable part of our lives and ignoring it (and the rules it follows) only spells trouble.

Once my beliefs about money changed learning came easy and natural. I have learned to understand finance in its varied forms. I share some of this understanding here.

Beliefs about people who have money

People who have money are just people with money. Someone was recently telling me that he knows many rich ‘jerks’ and miserable as hell, as well. One thing that kept him balanced was the money he gives to others to enable them to achieve their dreams or contributes to good causes so that the world can be a better place.

Beliefs we carry with us from childhood are not necessarily true; confronting these by identifying them and discussing them with people helps correct them.

Money and my relationships with others

All my answers about the way in which I believe changing my relationship with money will change my relationships with my loved ones are just my assumptions. Assumptions need to be tested and a way to do this is to discuss them with others. When I talked to John, my husband, it turned out that he is not going to feel left out. Quite the reverse – I was catching up with him.

Changing your beliefs means changing yourself

This means that once I had changed my beliefs about money I could not continue feeling embarrassed when handling it or discussing it. How to reconcile a belief and a long standing habit? For some time a fierce battle was fought inside me – and the outcome was unclear. The battle lasted until I started attacking the habit directly by doing things that break it. I stood at the bottom of a ski slope asking people to sell me their day passes; I started saying clearly how much I expect to be paid for particular jobs; and I started discussing money more generally.

The last bastion of my now obsolete beliefs is the “fear of losing it all” – this is still work in progress.

I confronted my ‘broke’ money blueprint and changed it (well mostly) because I did not have a choice – it was either that or perpetual money trouble. This is probably one of the best things that happened to me – changing my beliefs is changing my actions; changing my actions is changing my character and changing my character is changing my destiny.

You can do it as well!

3 thoughts on “How to change your money blueprint?”

  1. I am having a hard time trying to figure out what exactly my beliefs about money are, never mind changing them! I have read and reread this post and tried to come up with some answers to the questions you pose, but I have come to the conclusion that I am some way behind you in this process, so that is why it is so difficult.
    I now have some control over my money, as in having a budget, allocating percentages to saving (something I would never have thought of), reducing my spending in lots of ways, and finding ways to increase my income. There are still things to be sorted out, but what I have found is I am enjoying the journey so far, I feel more in control than I ever have, and I just know that things will be better in the future because I will make it better. Now I need to spend some time refining some of my ideas for income streams, because I will never be wealthy if I continue to work the way I do now!
    Quick question – If you could recommend a book to help me, what would it be? I love to read, always have at least two books on the go at the same time.

  2. Hi Helen, and I am very glad to hear that you are ‘taking charge’. It feel great, doesn’t it?
    Reading this blog, you know that I believe that there are three element to controlling money. These are: income, expenditure and the difference between these two. I tried to illustrate this one in my post about money being a river and seeing ourselves as an island in this river – taking water our, using some, letting some back in the river to flow to other islands and using some to build reservoirs.

    For each of the three we need to have information, to have standards against which we form judgement and to be able to act. Information is the easy part; the standards and the action depend of very deep beliefs and attitudes that we have; some of these were formed in chidlhood, others are more recent. What we rarely question are these beliefs – we usually take them for granted.

    In Good girls don’t get rich (see posts on this one) the author formulated the questions from the post, but these were not complete – the reader was to complete them. I did post the questions earlier and I even think you answered them. Look at the answers and start thinking ‘why’. I was thinking, yep obviously money is not part of my life but why? Can I think of something in the past that was instrumental in forming this belief?

    On a more practical note, I would recommend Rich Girls Don’t Get Rich (it has the advantage to be based on research of women and is targetted at women) and Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker.

    Good luck and keep in touch.

  3. Hey Maria,

    I know this was published over a year ago but I would like to change my money blue print but I’m not sure about where to start or what to think. I know my problem with money is that I am afraid of ending up like my mum who doesn’t have much money and when she gets money she spends it. I hate telling people how much money I have and my boyfriend always tells me you can’t make money unless you go to university which I know isn’t true. My mum was telling me about the money blue print but I don’t like hearing it from her because she goes against her advice all the time and also uses it as an excuse and I just need to hear it from someone else who has seen it work and has had results. Please help me because I love working and being kep occupied but it’s like everytime I’ve had an amazing chance at something it all goes at once or if my life is great, it always turns bad again. I just want it to remain great and I’m thinking it could be something in my sub concious that is doing this..

    Thanks 🙂


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