There is a short and very straight forward answer to this question. One can change their money blueprint by changing one’s beliefs about money, about people who have it and about the way in which it will affect one’s relationships with other and with themselves. In an earlier post I shared with you my answers to ten questions that paint our money blueprint. These are:
I am not rich because I refuse to understand finance.
And that is because I do not consider money important and a part of my life.
Being rich would make me feel secure.
When it comes to rich people, my parents always told me that they are immoral and exploit the honest working people.
If I focused on getting rich, it would make my partner/spouse feel left behind.
A rich woman is one who is independent.
What keeps me from taking more risks to get rich is the fear of losing it all.
When it comes to handling money, I get embarrassed.
I feel money is dirty and un-important.
A rich woman strikes me as ruthless.
Beliefs about money
During the last year or so I re-visited and examined deeply my beliefs about money. Looking back, I realised that money is not part of my life because I spent my early years with my grandparents on a farm where very little needed to be bought; later I went back to live with my parents and money was not a problem – there was enough of it so that I would not notice it. I also remembered a big and ugly row about money between my grandparents; it was about very little money that my granddad has lost. This more than explains why my beliefs about money were that it is ‘dirty’, ‘un-important’ and certainly not part of my life. Understanding how money works and finance was without any relevance.
Having worked out the origin of my restrictive beliefs was the first step towards changing these. Money is still not, and will never be, the centre of my world. But I have learned to see it for what it truly is – a mediator between us and the world, between us and the things we want (and need). Money is an inevitable part of our lives and ignoring it (and the rules it follows) only spells trouble.
Once my beliefs about money changed learning came easy and natural. I have learned to understand finance in its varied forms. I share some of this understanding here.
Beliefs about people who have money
People who have money are just people with money. Someone was recently telling me that he knows many rich ‘jerks’ and miserable as hell, as well. One thing that kept him balanced was the money he gives to others to enable them to achieve their dreams or contributes to good causes so that the world can be a better place.
Beliefs we carry with us from childhood are not necessarily true; confronting these by identifying them and discussing them with people helps correct them.
Money and my relationships with others
All my answers about the way in which I believe changing my relationship with money will change my relationships with my loved ones are just my assumptions. Assumptions need to be tested and a way to do this is to discuss them with others. When I talked to John, my husband, it turned out that he is not going to feel left out. Quite the reverse – I was catching up with him.
Changing your beliefs means changing yourself
This means that once I had changed my beliefs about money I could not continue feeling embarrassed when handling it or discussing it. How to reconcile a belief and a long standing habit? For some time a fierce battle was fought inside me – and the outcome was unclear. The battle lasted until I started attacking the habit directly by doing things that break it. I stood at the bottom of a ski slope asking people to sell me their day passes; I started saying clearly how much I expect to be paid for particular jobs; and I started discussing money more generally.
The last bastion of my now obsolete beliefs is the “fear of losing it all” – this is still work in progress.
I confronted my ‘broke’ money blueprint and changed it (well mostly) because I did not have a choice – it was either that or perpetual money trouble. This is probably one of the best things that happened to me – changing my beliefs is changing my actions; changing my actions is changing my character and changing my character is changing my destiny.
You can do it as well!