100 words on bringing up children

Being a parent can be a daunting experience. Most parents worry most of the time about whether they are doing ‘the right thing’. Like in other areas of life we tend to worry about the wrong thing. I agree with Umberto Eco who said that all children start their life worshiping their parents and end up blaming them for all that is wrong with their lives.

The Money Principle’s take on bringing up children:

Irrespective of what you do, your children are likely to end up in therapy. Since it is impossible to ‘do the right thing’ make sure that you enjoy bringing them up!

17 thoughts on “100 words on bringing up children”

    1. A lot of this does seem to be in the UK and US culture – we have to beat our breasts with guilt no matter how hard we try to do (what we see as) the best for our children. You might find http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/21/jenny-colgan-france-children?INTCMP=SRCH interesting and also this book – which I haven’t read but would like to. http://www.amazon.co.uk/French-Children-Dont-Throw-Food/dp/0385617615/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327773390&sr=8-1

      1. @PatMac: Well, I am not so convinced that the US and the UK are exceptions in this respect. My feeling is that our relationships with children go through different periods – in puberty and a bit after they have to blame us; otherwise it would be very hard to leave and become independent. If and when an adult relationship between children and parents is established things change.

  1. Kids certainly do blame their parents. That’s one thing that I hope to instill in our future children: once you are grown, take control of your own life. You wield a great deal of power. It’s on you now kid 🙂

  2. As a young couple, we often talk about whether or not we want to have children. Last night we visited an uncle and aunt of mine who don’t have kids and they made that path look pretty darn nice!

    1. @MUM: Having children is a wonderful experience. It is true that your life is never the same but they really put things in perspective and bring so much joy.

  3. My children are definitely not to the blame parents stag, so it’s easy to just enjoy them. I do have a similar philosophy. I tell my wife “we are going to ruin our children’s lives whether we like it or not, so we might as well enjoy doing it.”

    1. @Shaun: One of ours is still at the stage where he worships us but this is changing rapidly with age and chemistry. As to acceptance, it is very liberating, isn’t it?

  4. I would agree kids tend to blame parents for all that’s wrong in their life, especially around the teen years, but there is good news.. They grow up, leave home and eventually realise just how much you did for them..then they start to appreciate all you have done for them and you become closer in so many ways. Can you tell I speak from experience?

    1. @Helen: These days they don’t leave home so promptly and this makes it so hard. Of course we love them and want to help them and support them. At the same time, there are tensions because we are tempted to treat grown up men and women as children – this annoys us and them in equal measures.

  5. Reminds me of Khalil Gibran On Children “Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

    You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
    which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them,
    but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday”

    Always makes me happy and sad.

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